Why do so many children today believe they should have anything they want without having to make an effort to get it? “Entitlemania: How Not to Spoil Your Kids, and What to Do If You Have” explains why the blame for this epidemic of entitlement should be placed squarely on parents’ shoulders. Well-meaning parents often weaken their children by overindulging them and over-managing their lives. For everything you give your child, you take something away! Parents are taking away the strength and confidence that is forged when they successfully overcome a struggle or challenge.
Entitlement is an increasingly pervasive social trend, affecting children of every age – and at every income bracket, but it can be cured!
First, you must break the codependency – Take care of you first! By constantly stepping in to “rescue” your child, you are enabling immaturity, irresponsibility, and underachievement. You must also delay gratification. If you give in to your children’s demands immediately, they begin to expect that as the normal course of events. The best thing you can do, by far, is model self-discipline yourself. Let your kids struggle! Today’s “helicopter” or now “drone” parents tend to hover and overprotect. You must allow your children to struggle when there is a lesson to be learned or personal growth to be had. Also, give memories instead of things. Most parents want to give their children “the best things money can buy.” Arguably, the best gifts are good experiences that are so memorable that they last a lifetime. Wield the “Grandparent Weapon!” Grandparents have a lifetime of experience and have survived setbacks and failures. Their wisdom can be a calming, credible, and secure resource for your children. Don’t sentence your children to the family business. While many parents who are business owners dream of passing on their enterprises to their children, it may lead to entitlemania! Not only can this lead children to feel they are entitled to something they didn’t work for, it can impede them from finding their true passions. Pride is not transferrable, you might feel pride in something, but your children won’t if they haven’t earned it. Don’t share your estate plan. Giving them this information can cause your children to value you for reasons that deviate from pure love and respect. Lastly, don’t hand down too much. Most parents ask themselves, “How much is too much to leave my children?” Instead, the question should be “How much money is too little to leave my children.” The prospect of an inheritance can bring on ugly behavior.
Entitlemania is a wake-up call for parents, giving them the understanding and tools needed to raise children that will fend for themselves.
